They had been married for sixty years. They were far from rich, but in very good health, due largely to her insistence that they both eat healthy foods and exercise every day. But their good health didn’t help them when their plane crashed. At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter led them to a beautiful mansion, [...]
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, “Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be The first nun says, “I want to be Sophia [...]
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, “I’d rather be savagely [...]
Three senior ladies named Shirley, Robin, and Betsy were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation, when a flasher
approached from across the park.
The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.
Both Robin and Betsy had a stroke.
But Shirley, being older and more feeble, couldn’t [...]
The judge said to the double-homicide defendant, “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.” A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, “You bastard!” The judge ignored the outburst and continued, “You’re also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer.” The same voice yelled out, “You [...]
All the passengers were onboard the small, third-world, puddle-jumping, commuter plane waiting for take-off. The stewardess assured them that their pilots will arrive soon; they were “delayed on another flight.” Eventually, two uniformed men wearing dark glasses entered the plane. One used a guide dog, while the other tapped his way into the cockpit with [...]
A young guy from Mississippi moves to Florida and goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job. The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”
The kid says “Yeah. I was a salesman back in Mississippi”
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. [...]
Travis had been rather upbeat lately. “What gives?” asked Jim. “Just loving life, Jim. Loving life,” he replied. “Health, togetherness, motivated children, lack of envy: that’s the recipe for a happy life. Plus, we’ve been having more sex than any time in our marriage.” “Wow, that’s pretty good after 25 years, Travis.” “Yes, it is,” [...]
1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the [...]
There’s been extreme flooding in Ireland, this photo may tug at your heart strings quite a bit…
click on pic for full size
[photopress:flooding_in_ireland.jpg,thumb,pp_image]
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