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Top Jokes

Four Marriages (joke)

One woman asked another how many times she’d been married. The reply was four. “Four times?” exclaimed the first woman, “why so many?” “Well, my first husband was a wonderful man who was a banker. But one day shortly after we were married, his bank was robbed and he was shot and killed.” “Oh, my [...]

Tarzan and Jane (joke)

Tarzan had lived alone in his jungle kingdom for thirty years with only apes for company and suitably-shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds, she entered a clearing to discover Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in [...]

The tight mini-skirt (joke)

A young blonde in a black business vest, white blouse, high heels and a skimpy miniskirt tried to board a bus, but her skirt was so tight her legs couldn’t move. So, she reached behind her and undid her zipper just a little. She tried to climb the steps again, and still couldn’t, so she [...]

The Bullfight (joke)

A man in a Tijuana restaurant notices a fellow next to him being served two huge round pieces of meat. He asks the waiter about the dish. “Every week there is a bullfight in the arena. When the bull dies, he is castrated. But, you must order it a week in advance.” The man does [...]

A Man’s One Wish (joke)

A man was walking along the beach at Malibu when he found a bottle. He looked around and didn’t see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, “For your kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one.” The man thought for [...]

Blonde TGIF (joke)

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, “T, G, I, F.” He smiled at her and replied, “S, H, I, T.” She looked at him, puzzled, and said, “T, G, I, F?” again. He acknowledged [...]

Late Night Drunk (joke)

A guy stopped off after work for a quick drink with his buddies. Well, one drink led to another, and another and another until he was very drunk, very late, and very worried about how mad his wife would be. But his buddies had the perfect solution: go home, sneak into the bedroom, slip under [...]

Little Johnny’s Moral (joke)

The Sunday School classes assignment was to prepare a story with a moral. Little Suzy went first. “My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market and one Sunday he hit a big bump and all the eggs [...]

The Farmer and his Supplies (joke)

A guy is about three steps inside a bar when he realizes it’s a gay bar. “What the heck? I really want a drink,” he thinks, and sits down. A waiter approaches and says, “what’s the name of your penis?” The guy says, “look, buddy, I’m not into that. All I want is a drink.” [...]

Straight Guy - Gay Bar (joke)

A guy is about three steps inside a bar when he realizes it’s a gay bar. “What the heck? I really want a drink,” he thinks, and sits down. A waiter approaches and says, “what’s the name of your penis?” The guy says, “look, buddy, I’m not into that. All I want is a drink.” [...]