A man boards an airliner, takes his seat, and is surprised to find a large purple parrot in the seat next to him.
The aircraft takes off and a pretty flight attendant walks down the aisle past the man and his seat Mate.
“Hey, bitch, “says the parrot, “bring me a whiskey and soda, and make it [...]
A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water. His horse has already died of thirst.
He’s crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to [...]
This is too funny, true for so many men all over the world!
Related PostsThe New CowA town in Poland had only one cow and it stopped giving milk. The townspeople did a little research …Little Johnny on the Farm”Well, Little Johnny, did you enjoy your field trip today?” “It was okay, Mom.” “What did you [...]
Would you take this guy home?
While Moshe was waiting on the train platform, a younger Jewish man asked him for the time but Moshe ignored him. The young man asked again, but again Moshe ignored him. Finally, the frustrated young man asked, “Excuse me, but I’ve asked you for the time twice. Why are you [...]
Have You Ever Been Guilty Of Looking At Others Your Own Age And Thinking:
“Surely I Can’t Look That Old.” Well… You’ll Love This One.
My Name Is Alice Smith And I Was Sitting In The Waiting Room For My First Appointment With A New Dentist. I Noticed His DDS Diploma, Which Bore His Full Name.
Suddenly, I [...]
I got this from a lady online. A friend of hers died who had a great sense of humor and always used to say that when she died she wanted a parking meter on her grave that says “Expired”. So her nephew got her one on eBay! She said that her grave is right by [...]
Now here an Irish joke with a twist you won’t expect!
At an Irish wedding, everyone got drunk. The bride’s and groom’s families wrecked the reception hall fighting with each other. The police had to break up the fighting. The next week, both families were in court. The judge asked, “All right now, what happened?” Paddy [...]
While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, “Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?”
“I’m listening to the music of the tree,” the other man replied.
“You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me.”
“No, would [...]
Two businessmen were taking a break while setting up their soon-to-open store’s shelving units. There they sat, in the middle of nothing but empty shelves. One said, “I bet any minute now some smart aleck will stick his head in the door and ask what we’re selling.” Within minutes, a man did just that, “Hey, [...]
Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so is thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3. Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least 100 Grand.
Commandment 4. Married life is very frustrating. In [...]