A once great actor could no longer remember lines but an old director friend wanted to give him one more chance. “James, this part has only one line: You walk on stage carrying a rose, hold it to your nose with your finger and thumb, sniff it deeply, and say ‘Ah, the sweet aroma of [...]
It was time for the elderly man’s annual physical and, after a thorough examination, his doctor told him, “I have good news and bad news, which do you want first?” “Give me the bad news first, Doc.” “You have cancer, it’s inoperable, and you only have about two years to live.” “Oh, God! That’s awful! [...]
At 85 years of age, Wally married Anne, a lovely 25 year old.
Since her new husband is so old, Anne decides that after their wedding she and Wally should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities [...]
An elderly man and woman are sitting all alone in the rest home when the man says to the woman, “Bet you can’t guess my age.” The woman replies, “Bet I can.” “Bet you can’t.” “Bet I can and I’ll prove it. Unzip your fly.” The man shrugs, but unzips his fly. The woman reaches [...]
An old lady is wheeling her wheelchair up and down the halls of her nursing home, making sounds like she’s driving a car. As she’s rounds one corner, an old man jumps out of his room and says, “Excuse me, ma’am, but you were speeding. May I see your license, please?†She digs in her [...]