Archive for 'Blonde Jokes' Category
The Blonde with Crabs (joke)
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in [...]
The Porch (joke)
A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a ‘handy-woman’ and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. ‘Well, I guess I [...]
Jump! It’s Your Only Chance
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde were trapped in a burning building. Firemen arrived and spread out the blanket. “Jump! It’s your only chance!” they cried. The brunette jumped and Swish! the firemen yanked the blanket away. The brunette smashed into the sidewalk. “Jump!” the firemen yelled to the redhead. “Oh, no!” the redhead [...]
Terrible News
As the manager passed the blonde’s cubicle, he noticed she was sobbing. He asked, “What’s the matter?” She replied, “I just learned that my mother died this morning.” The boss felt sorry for her. “Go one home and take the day off.” “Thanks, but I’d rather stay here and work to keep my mind off [...]
Jump! It’s Your Only Chance
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde were trapped in a burning building. Firemen arrived and spread out the blanket. “Jump! It’s your only chance!” they cried. The brunette jumped and Swish! the firemen yanked the blanket away. The brunette smashed into the sidewalk. “Jump!” the firemen yelled to the redhead. “Oh, no!” the redhead [...]
Seven Hundred Ten
A blonde walks into the local garage and asked for a “seven-hundred-ten”. They all looked at each other perplexed. Another customer asked, “What is a ‘seven-hundred-ten’?” She replied, “You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.” She said that she did not know [...]
Smart Blonde and the Lawyer
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists [...]
Cardboard Men (blonde joke)
When Cardboard Men Come In Handy! A car gets a flat on the interstate one day. The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle [...]
Financial Troubles
Brandi the blonde is in such serious financial trouble that she decides to ask God for help. She prays, “God, I lost my business and if I don’t get some money soon, I’m going to lose my car. Please, God: let me win the Lotto.??? But Lotto night comes and goes and Brandi’s numbers don’t [...]
Golf Balls (joke)
A man got on a bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a fine looking blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many curious glances from her, he said, ‘It’s golf balls.’ The blonde continued to look at him [...]
