An old Indian was sitting in front of the hardware store. Every time a pretty woman passed by, he raised his hand and said, “Chance.” One curious woman asked him, “Why is it that whenever a woman walks past, you raise your hand and say ‘Chance?’ I thought Indians raised their hand and said ‘how.’” [...]
Two Irishmen, adrift in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean, spied a lamp floating nearby. They retrieved it, and, hoping against hope, rubbed it. Sure enough, a genie appeared. “I will grant you one wish,” said the genie. “One? What about three?” “One or none; take it or leave it!” Without thinking, Pat [...]
A Texan announces to the crowd in an Irish pub, “I’ll give $500 to any man here who can drink ten pints of Guinness back-to-back.” The room grows quiet. No one takes him up on his offer, and one man even leaves. Thirty minutes later that same man taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is [...]
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were drinking in a saloon when a cowboy entered and asked, “Who owns the big white stallion outside?” The Lone Ranger stood up and said, “I do. Why?” The cowboy said, “He looks like he’s about dead!” The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was near [...]
Just when you thought you’d heard all the ethnic Chinese jokes there were - this one comes out of left field!
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided [...]
A white man, a black man, and a Mexican man broke out of a Florida prison. Running through the woods, with guard dogs closing in on them, came to a swamp filled with alligators. The white man says, “I’ve got to go for it. If I don’t, the dogs’ll get me.” He didn’t get more [...]
A Chinese couple get married, she’s a virgin and truth be told he is not all that experienced either.
On their wedding night she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses, he climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring, “my darring, “he says, “I know dis yo firss time and you [...]
When Moishe arrived in New York, the customs official inspected his suitcase and asked, “Why do you have five sets of gold teeth?” Moishe explained, “Orthodox Jews have two separate sets of dishes, one for meat products and one for dairy products. Since I keep kosher, I have separate sets of teeth for each.” The [...]
An old Scotsman was talking to a young man in a pub. “Laddie, look out at that field. Do you see that fence? Look how well it’s built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I worked for months, but do they call me MacGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo.??? Then the old man [...]
Two Italian men get on the bus and sit in front of an well-dressed woman. At first she is able to ignore their conversation, but she is offended when she overhears one man say, “Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two more asses, they come together again. [...]