An 80-year-old man was in for his annual check-up and the doctor was impressed by his condition. The doctor asked, “To what do you attribute your good health?” The old timer said, “I’m a golfer. That’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m on the tee as soon as it’s daylight.” The doctor said, “Well, I’m sure that helps, but there must be more than that. How old was your father when he died?” “Who said my father’s dead?” “What? You’re 80 and your dad’s still alive? How old is he?” “He’s 100! He’s a golfer, too. In fact, we played this morning.” “Well, that’s great, but there must be more than that. How about your grandfather? How old was he when he died?” “Who said my grandpa’s dead?” “What?! You mean your grandfather’s still alive, too? How old is he?” “119.” The doctor began to think he was being kidded. “So I suppose he went golfing with you this morning, too?” “No, Grandpa couldn’t go today; his new wife wouldn’t let him.” “New wife? Why would a man 119 years old want to get married?” “Who said he wanted to?”
Four fathers-to-be killed time in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor. A nurse announced to the first man, “Congratulations, you’re the father of twins.??? “What a coincidence,??? said the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins.??? Soon the nurse returned and said to the second man, “Congratulations, sir. You’re the father of triplets.??? “Wow, what a coincidence,??? he answered. “I work for 3M.??? Soon the nurse returned and said to the third man, “Congratulations, sir. You’re the father of quadruplets!??? He was so stunned he couldn’t speak. “Another coincidence???? asked the nurse. Regaining his composure, he said, “Yes. I work for the Four Seasons Hotel.??? Suddenly everyone looked at the fourth man, who was whispering the same phrase over and over: “I should have never taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should have never taken that job at 7-Eleven….???