Archive for 'Funny Jokes' Category

WTF Pic: Shave a Baby?

By topjokes - Last updated: Tuesday, May 21, 2013

This is definitely the WTF Pic of the day – “Shave a Baby?” Why are the Japanese and Chinese so warped, and where in the heck did they get an idea like this? Who in their right mind would develop a toy where you could shave a baby? How many of these do you think [...]

May December Marriage (joke)

By topjokes - Last updated: Monday, May 20, 2013

At 85 years of age, Wally married Anne, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Anne decides that after their wedding she and Wally should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together. After the [...]

When Grandma Goes To Court

By topjokes - Last updated: Sunday, May 19, 2013

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. [...]

Smartass Answers (joke)

By topjokes - Last updated: Saturday, May 18, 2013

SMARTASS ANSWER #7 A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Christmas stamps?” The clerk says, ‘What denomination?’ The blonde says, ‘God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists. [...]

Raffle At Work (joke)

By topjokes - Last updated: Friday, May 17, 2013

A woman arrives home from work wearing a diamond necklace. Her husband asks, “Where did you get the necklace?” She replies, “Oh, I won it in a raffle at work. Would you get my bath ready while I start supper, please?” The next day, she arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. “Where did [...]

Racetrack Fieldtrip (joke)

By topjokes - Last updated: Thursday, May 16, 2013

Two female teachers took their third, fourth and fifth graders on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about horses and the supporting industry. During the tour, when some children needed to use the toilet, they decided that one teacher would take the girls and the other teacher would take the boys. Waiting [...]

The Pastor’s Visit (joke)

By topjokes - Last updated: Wednesday, May 15, 2013

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. Obviously someone was home, but even after he knocked several times, no one came to the door. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back “Revelation 3:20″ and stuck [...]

Eye on his pocket (joke)

By topjokes - Last updated: Tuesday, May 14, 2013

A man came into a bar, ordered a shot and a beer, chugged the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked in his shirt pocket. Then he ordered another beer and repeated the exercise all over again. This continued several times. Finally curiosity got the better of the bartender. “Excuse me, buddy; I [...]

The Courtship joke

By topjokes - Last updated: Monday, May 13, 2013

Josh lusted after Linda. When she finally agreed to go out with him, he took her out to dinner and then afterwards, drove her five miles out into the country, parked, and said passionately, “I want you right here, right now. Do it… or you can walk home!” Without saying a word, Linda got out [...]

Lil’ Johnny’s Homework

By topjokes - Last updated: Sunday, May 12, 2013

Lil’ Johnny asked his father for help with a homework assignment, “Dad, what’s the difference between potential and reality?” His father thought a moment, then said, “How about a demonstration? Ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt [...]