Category Archives: Funny Jokes

Tough Sobriety Test (joke)

A police officer pulled a car over for speeding. As the driver pulled out his license, the officer noticed several swords, machetes, and meat cleavers in the man’s backseat. “Sir, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to exit your vehicle,” “Why, officer?” “Why do you have weapons in your backseat?” “Oh, I’m in the circus; those are just part of my act.” The officer stands back and then orders him to prove it. The juggler takes out three dull meat cleavers and begins juggling them behind his car. Just then an inebriated local, fresh from the neighborhood tavern, drove past. He grabbed his cell phone, phoned back to the tavern and asked for his best friend. “Bob, you’d better take the back roads home. The cops have a sobriety test set up out on the main road that nobody’s gonna pass!”

Where did Humans Come From (joke)?

This joke is pretty funny – who can resist taking a swipe at the old man at the expense of the kids!

Little Suzie asked her mother, “Where did humans come from?” Her mother answered, “Well, dear, God made Adam and Eve and they had children and all mankind descended from them.” Then she asked her father the same question. Her father answered, “Over millions of years, humans developed from apes.” The confused girl returned to her mother and told her what Daddy said. “Mom, how come you said we were created by God while Dad said we descended from monkeys?” Mother answered, “Simple, dear: I was talking about my family’s origins and your father was talking about his!”

The Penis that Died

One day, old Mr. Smith told his nurse that his penis had died. Knowing Mr. Smith was growing senile, she decided to play along. “It did? I am sorry to hear that.” The next day she saw Mr. Smith walking down the nursing home hallway with his penis hanging out of his pants. “Mr. Smith? I thought you told me that your penis had died?” “It did. Today’s the viewing!”