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The Irish Golfer

An Irish golfer slices his tee shot into the woods. Looking for it, he finds it near a tiny man lying near a bush with this huge knot on his head. The golfer revives the leprechaun. When he awakes, he says, “I will grant you three wishes.” The man replies, “I want nothing from you. [...]

This one looks like yours (joke)

A man staggers into an emergency room with a golf club wrapped around his neck. “What happened?” “I was playing golf with my wife when she sliced her ball out of bounds and into a cow pasture. We went looking for it and, after a while I noticed one of the cows had something white [...]

Golfing in the patch of buttercups (joke)

The husband’s tee shot went far right, while the wife’s went far left. She finally found her ball in a patch of
buttercups. She took several practice swings and then hit a nice ball back onto the fairway, but in the process,
she hacked the hell out of the buttercups. As she returned to her bag, a [...]

The Catholics and the Jews Play Golf (joke)

Shortly after the Pope had apologized to the Jewish people for the treatment of Jews by the Catholic Church over the years, Ariel Sharon, the Minister of Israel, sent a proposal to the College of Cardinals for a friendly game of golf to be played between the two leaders, or their representatives, to demonstrate the [...]

Golf Ransom (joke)

Marvin found the following ransom note slipped under his front door: “Bring $50,000 to the 18th hole of your country club tomorrow by high noon if you ever want to see your wife alive again.” But it was well after 1:00 PM before he arrived at the designated meeting spot. A masked man summoned him [...]

First time on the tee

Two women were paired together in the club tournament. They met for the first time on the tee, introduced themselves, and traded handicaps. “My handicap is 9. What’s yours?” “Oh, I’m a scratch golfer,” replied the other. “Really?” said the first, impressed. “Yeah. I write down my good scores and scratch out the bad ones!”
Related [...]

Beginning Golf Lessons

A man decided to take up golf, so he signed up for lessons with the local pro. The pro showed him the proper stance and grip and swing and then said, “Now just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green.??? The novice teed up and smacked a beauty, straight down the fairway, [...]

Tiger in “Ireland”

Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his new Mercedes
into an Irish gas station.
An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro
is…”Top o’the mornin to ya”.
As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.
“So what are those things, laddie?” asks the attendant.
“They’re [...]

The Frustration of Golf

A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair.
She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
“What troubles you, Sister?” asks the Mother Superior.
“I thought this was the day you spent with your family.”
“It was,” sighed the Sister. “And I went to play golf with my brother.
We try to play golf as [...]

Golf Balls (joke)

A man got on a bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a fine looking blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at
him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many curious glances from her, he said, ‘It’s golf balls.’
The blonde continued to look at him for a [...]