Archive for 'Golf Jokes' Category
First time on the tee
Two women were paired together in the club tournament. They met for the first time on the tee, introduced themselves, and traded handicaps. “My handicap is 9. What’s yours?” “Oh, I’m a scratch golfer,” replied the other. “Really?” said the first, impressed. “Yeah. I write down my good scores and scratch out the bad ones!” [...]
Beginning Golf Lessons
A man decided to take up golf, so he signed up for lessons with the local pro. The pro showed him the proper stance and grip and swing and then said, “Now just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green.??? The novice teed up and smacked a beauty, straight down the fairway, [...]
Tiger in “Ireland”
Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station. An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is…”Top o’the mornin to ya”. As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket. “So what are those [...]
The Frustration of Golf
A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. “What troubles you, Sister?” asks the Mother Superior. “I thought this was the day you spent with your family.” “It was,” sighed the Sister. “And I went to play golf with my brother. We [...]
Golf Balls (joke)
A man got on a bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a fine looking blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many curious glances from her, he said, ‘It’s golf balls.’ The blonde continued to look at him [...]
I had a Rider…
Four old geezers came into the pro shop after playing 18 holes and were exhausted. The pro asked if they had a good game and the first old guy said, “Pretty good. I had three riders today.” The second old guy said, “I had five riders.” The third old man said, “I had seven riders, [...]
Honeymoon
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession to make. I’m not a virgin.” The husband replies, “That’s no surprise in this day and age.” The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.” “Oh yeah? Who [...]
The Golf Genie (joke)
A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf…..Of course, the wife promptly whacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, “I warned you to be careful! Now we’ll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how [...]
The Irish Golfer
An Irish golfer slices his tee shot into the woods. Looking for it, he finds it near a tiny man lying near a bush with this huge knot on his head. The golfer revives the leprechaun. When he awakes, he says, “I will grant you three wishes.” The man replies, “I want nothing from you. [...]
This one looks like yours (joke)
A man staggers into an emergency room with a golf club wrapped around his neck. “What happened?” “I was playing golf with my wife when she sliced her ball out of bounds and into a cow pasture. We went looking for it and, after a while I noticed one of the cows had something white [...]
