Archive for 'Irish Jokes' Category
Irish wishes (joke)
An Irishman walking along the beach found a bottle lying in the sand. He picked it up, brushed it off, and out popped a genie. “Since you have freed me from this bottle, I will grant you three wishes.” The Irishman thought a moment and said, “I’m feeling a might thirsty. I think I’ll wish [...]
The Irish Good Samaritan
Paddy Reilly and his wife were awakened at 4:00 AM by a loud pounding on the door. Paddy gets up and goes to the door where an inebriated stranger, standing in the pouring rain. is asking for a push. “Not a chance,” says Paddy, “It’s 3:00 in the morning.” He slams the door and returns [...]
The Irishman’s Three Wishes
An Irishman walking along the beach found a bottle lying in the sand. He picked it up, brushed it off, and out popped a genie. “Since you have freed me from this bottle, I will grant you three wishes.” The Irishman thought a moment and said, “I’m feeling a might thirsty. I think I’ll wish [...]
Water to Wine
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.? He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?” “Just water,” says the priest. The trooper says, “Then why [...]
I’ve lost me luggage
An Irishman arrived at J.F.K.? Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks.? An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. “No,” replied the Irishman “I’ve lost all me luggage!” “How’d that happen?” “The cork fell out!” said the Irishman. Related PostsLosing hand at PokerSix retired Floridians were playing [...]
Goin’ to the Store…
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. “S’cuse me”, said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, “What was that all [...]
Two Irishmen A Fishin’
Two Irishmen, Patrick and Michael, were adrift in a boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Patrick stumbled upon an old lamp. Secretly hoping a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To Patrick’s amazement, a genie came forth.? This particular genie, however, could grant only [...]
Irish Toast
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the [...]
Two Irishmen A-Fishin’
Two Irishmen, Patrick and Michael, were adrift in a boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Patrick stumbled upon an old lamp. Secretly hoping a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To Patrick’s amazement, a genie came forth.? This particular genie, however, could grant only [...]
Top prize at the Irish pub (joke)
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the [...]
