Archive for 'Jokes for Women' Category
How Old Am I (joke)?
Luke’s wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After applying the “miracle” products, she asked him, “Darling, what age would you say I am?” Luke looked her over carefully and then said, “Judging from your skin, twenty. Judging from your hair, eighteen. Judging from your figure, twenty-five. [...]
Mr. Sensitivity (joke)
A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom [...]
The fishing trip (joke)
A guy called his wife one evening and said, “Honey, I’ve been invited to spend a week fishing with some of my best customers, but they’re leaving right away. Could you pack my clothes, my fishing gear, oh, and don’t forget my blue silk pajamas. I’ll be home in a few minutes to pick them [...]
The clever letter (joke)
A 63-year-old accountant left this letter on his kitchen counter. “Dear Wife: By the time you read this letter I will be at the grand Hotel with my beautiful, sexy, 21-year-old secretary.” When he arrived at the Grand Hotel he had a letter waiting for him at the front desk. “Dear Husband: I, too, am [...]
Dusty Underwear (joke)
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife ‘Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!’ His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the [...]
The High School Crush (joke)
Have You Ever Been Guilty Of Looking At Others Your Own Age And Thinking: “Surely I Can’t Look That Old.” Well… You’ll Love This One. My Name Is Alice Smith And I Was Sitting In The Waiting Room For My First Appointment With A New Dentist. I Noticed His DDS Diploma, Which Bore His Full [...]
The statue in the museum (joke)
A Frenchwoman took her young daughter to the Louvre. As they stood before a statue of a nude male, the child pointed at its penis and asked, “Mama, what’s that?” “Oh, nothing, Cherie.” “I want one,” said the child. The mother tried to focus her daughter’s attention on a more suitable subject, but the little [...]
The celebration (joke)
A farmer dropped by the local tavern, ordered a cold one and said, “This is a special day. I’m celebrating.” “What a coincidence,” said the woman on the next stool. “I’m celebrating, too.” “What are you celebrating?” she asked, clinking glasses with him. “I’ve been raising chickens, but my hens were all infertile,” he replied, [...]
The Newlyweds (joke)
The newlyweds were enjoying breakfast in bed. “Honey, tonight we’re gonna try something new.” “Oh, really? What’s left?” “68.” “68? What’s that?” “That’s where you do me and I’ll just owe you one!” Related PostsNewlywedsThe newlyweds were ready for bed when the new husband said, “Honey, now that we’re married, it’s oka…May December Marriage (joke)At [...]
Getting a divorce (joke)
The wife appeared before the judge and said, “I want a divorce.” The judge said, “Why do you want a divorce?” “Because my husband is a terrible lover.” “How long have you been married?” “Fourteen years.” “I don’t understand,” said the judge. “Why wait fourteen years to divorce your husband if he’s a terrible lover?” [...]
