Archive for 'Jokes' Category
Married Too Long (joke)
A husband and wife came for counseling after 35 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 35 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling [...]
Who shot the beaver?
A 90-year old man said to his doctor, “I’ve never felt better… I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think of that?” The doctor replied, “I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day he was in a hurry and [...]
WTF Pic: Shave a Baby?
This is definitely the WTF Pic of the day – “Shave a Baby?” Why are the Japanese and Chinese so warped, and where in the heck did they get an idea like this? Who in their right mind would develop a toy where you could shave a baby? How many of these do you think [...]
May December Marriage (joke)
At 85 years of age, Wally married Anne, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Anne decides that after their wedding she and Wally should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together. After the [...]
When Grandma Goes To Court
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. [...]
Smartass Answers (joke)
SMARTASS ANSWER #7 A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Christmas stamps?” The clerk says, ‘What denomination?’ The blonde says, ‘God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists. [...]
Raffle At Work (joke)
A woman arrives home from work wearing a diamond necklace. Her husband asks, “Where did you get the necklace?” She replies, “Oh, I won it in a raffle at work. Would you get my bath ready while I start supper, please?” The next day, she arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. “Where did [...]
Racetrack Fieldtrip (joke)
Two female teachers took their third, fourth and fifth graders on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about horses and the supporting industry. During the tour, when some children needed to use the toilet, they decided that one teacher would take the girls and the other teacher would take the boys. Waiting [...]
The Pastor’s Visit (joke)
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. Obviously someone was home, but even after he knocked several times, no one came to the door. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back “Revelation 3:20″ and stuck [...]
Eye on his pocket (joke)
A man came into a bar, ordered a shot and a beer, chugged the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked in his shirt pocket. Then he ordered another beer and repeated the exercise all over again. This continued several times. Finally curiosity got the better of the bartender. “Excuse me, buddy; I [...]
