Jim the techogeek was admiring John the technogeek’s new acquisition. “John, that new robot secretary of yours is cool!” “Glad you like her. She’s the latest model.” “How does she work?” “Easy. Squeeze her left breast and she takes dictation. Squeeze her right breast and she types a letter.” “Wow! Cool.” “Would you like to try her out?” “Sure!” They moved the new robot into an empty office and John left Jim alone with her to experiment. Suddenly, Jim’s screams of pain could be heard throughout the office! “Eeeeyaaaaa! ” John rushed in. “Jim! Did I forget to tell you that she also has a built-in pencil sharpener?!”
Category Archives: Nerd Jokes
Bill Gates and the Cool Watch
Scott was struggling through the airport terminal with his obviously heavy suitcase when Bill Gates asked him the time. Scott didn’t recognize him, but pushed a button on his watch. The watch said out loud, “It’s five fifty.” “Hey, cool watch!” said Bill. Scott replied, “Yeah, it’s not bad. Check this…” He displayed every time zone in the world, pressed a button and the watch announced, “The time is four fifty-one” in a Texas drawl. Another few pushes and the watch gave the time in Japan — in Japanese! Scott explained, “It includes a region-appropriate accent for each time zone.” Gates is impressed. “That’s not all,” said Scott as he pushed a few more buttons and a tiny hi-res map of New York City appeared on its display. “The flashing dot shows our location via GPS,” he explained. “View: recede ten,” Scott ordered and the display changed to show eastern New York state. “I need this watch!” said Gates. “Oh, it’s not yet ready for sale; I’m still working out some bugs,” said its inventor. “Besides, I haven’t shown you the FM radio receiver with digital tuner, the sonar device that measures distances underwater, the pager, the fax machine, the digital camera, the MP3 player with 300GB drive, video playback, Bluetooth, WiFi and WiMax…” “How about $10,000?” said Gates. “Oh, no. I’ve already spent more than on…” “$20,000?” “But it’s not…” “$50,000 — in cash!” Bill opened his briefcase, which was filled with hundred dollar bills. Scott thought, “I’ve only got about $5,000 into this and with 50K I can make another one that’s better. I can be ready for merchandising in a year…” Scott made his decision, “Okay, it’s yours!” He removed the watch and handed it to Gates, who happily walked away. “Hey, wait up!” Scott called. Gates turned around and said, “What?” Scott pointed to the heavy suitcase he had been wrestling through the terminal. “Don’t forget your battery!”