An elderly couple decides, “Tonight is the night.” She slips into something sexy and crawls into bed. He heads into the bathroom. She waits and waits until she can’t stand the suspense; she climbs out of bed, gets up, goes to the bathroom, and opens the door. She sees him bent over, trying to put [...]
An elderly man asked his pharmacist to fill his Viagra prescription, “but would you please cut each one into four pieces?” The pharmacist balked. “That’s too small a dosage. That’s not enough to get you through sex.” “Oh, I don’t care about sex; I just want it to stick out far enough so that I [...]
The old gentleman was aging more rapidly than he wanted. “Your gout seems to be getting worse,” said his doctor. “Therefore, I recommend that you give up smoking, drinking and sex.” “What!? Just so I can walk a little better?”
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An 80-year old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results.
The doctor says, “Chuck, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Chuck replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it so when I [...]
An old man said to his doctor, “Doc, tomorrow’s my eightieth birthday. I want to do it just one more time before I die, so I’ve hired a hooker for the night. Can you give me something to get it up?” The doctor smiled. “Normally, I don’t prescribe this stuff, but in your case, I [...]
An elderly couple has only been in bed for a few minutes when the man farts. He says, “7 points!” She asks, “7 points for what?” The old man replies, “It’s fart football.” A minute later, she fires one off. “Touchdown! Tie score,” she announces. A few minutes pass and the old man farts again. [...]
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor’s waiting room. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?”
“There’s something wrong with my dick,” he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded doctor’s waiting room and say things like that.”
“Why [...]
An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, was shocked when the woman’s doctor said she had a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She had to avoid stress, eat right, and never have sex again, or the strain might kill her. They reluctantly tried to live by those rules [...]
Two drunk Air Force Crew Chiefs were talking. One said, “Ya know, when I was 30 and got an erection, I couldn’t bend it even if I used both hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I really tried. By the time I was 50, I could [...]
A fifty-year-old man asks the drugstore checkout girl, “Do you sell condoms?” She replies, “Sure. What size are you?” “I don’t know,” he replies. “Well, just let me just check,” she volunteers. She unzips his pants, reaches inside, then says over the intercom, “Extra large condoms to checkout 3. Extra large condoms to checkout 3!” [...]