Archive for 'Sex Jokes' Category
Little Johnny and his Daddy in the woods
Little Johnny watched his daddy’s car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother, “Mommy, I [...]
Chicken wi broccori? (chinese joke)
A Chinese couple get married, she’s a virgin and truth be told he is not all that experienced either. On their wedding night she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses, he climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring, “my darring, “he says, “I know dis yo firss time and [...]
Cleanup at checkout 3!
A fifty-year-old man asks the drugstore checkout girl, “Do you sell condoms?” She replies, “Sure. What size are you?” “I don’t know,” he replies. “Well, just let me just check,” she volunteers. She unzips his pants, reaches inside, then says over the intercom, “Extra large condoms to checkout 3. Extra large condoms to checkout 3!” [...]
Little Johnny Viagra Joke
Think you’ve heard all the “little Johnny” jokes? Think again – this little Johnny joke was new for me in 2010! “Children, please name a medicine and what it is used for,” said Mrs. Johnson. The first student said, “Tylenol.” “Very good! And what is Tylenol used for?” “It’s for headaches.” “Excellent. Anyone else?” Another [...]
After the Wedding Night
Three buddies got married on the same day and at the same hotel. During the receptions, the three guys met up in the bar. “Guys, it’s our wedding night and, uh, I was wondering, er, ah, how many times are we supposed to do it?” Discussion ensued, and finally ended with an agreement to just [...]
What’s your GPA?
Near the end of the season, the college football player decided to celebrate the end of team curfew at a late night party. He soon spied a beautiful co-ed and eased into conversation by asking, “Meet many dates at parties?” She replied, “Oh, I have a 3.9. I’m more attracted to the strong academics than [...]
What’s the Hurry?
An airline pilot announced over the intercom, “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. We’ve reached our cruising altitude of 33,000 feet, and it looks like we’re going to be right on time. Thank you for flying with us.” Then, wrongly believing he had switched off his microphone, said, “Take the wheel, will ya, Jim? I’m gonna [...]
A Penguin driving his Cadillac
Once a penguin was driving his Cadillac through Arkansas. Cruising through this small town, his car began to knock. So, the penguin pulls his Cadillac into the local garage. The mechanic says, “it’ll be a couple of hours before I can check it out.” And the penguin replies, “I’ll head across the street and check [...]
Hanging the Laundry
Three women always hang their laundry in their backyards. Often two of the women’s laundry gets wet, but it seems like Sophie’s laundry never gets wet. “How do you do it, Sophie? How come you never put out your laundry on days when it rains?” “Well,” says Sophie, “when I wake up in the morning, [...]
The Union Plumber
A woman called a union plumber to her Manhattan apartment to fix a leaking pipe. The plumber was pleased to discover that the woman was quite a luscious well-stacked babe. During the course of his visit they became quite “friendly.” Late in the afternoon the phone rang, disturbing their bedroom shenanigans. Putting down the phone, [...]
