Category Archives: Tax Jokes

Just one more drop

A bartender had a standing bet of $1,000 that his grip was stronger than anyone. To prove it, he would squeeze a lemon and then hand it to his challenger. If the challenger could squeeze out even one more drop, he’d win. Weightlifters, longshoremen, construction workers… many had tried, but none succeeded. But then a scrawny little man in thick glasses and a polyester suit took up the challenge. The crowd laughed, but the bartender grabbed a lemon, squeezed his best, and then tossed it to the slight man. The laughter turned to silence when the little man produced not just one drop, but six more! Everyone cheered. As the bartender counted out the money, he asked, “What do you do for a living, fella? Wrestler? Lumberjack?” The little guy pushed up his spectacles and squeeked, “Nope. I work for the IRS!”

Change to Tax Code – New Tax

2007 Tax Code

The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis.
This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts!? HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2007, the penis will now be taxed according to size. (Thanks to our new speaker of the house Nancy Pelosi) The brackets are as? follows:

10 – 12″ Luxury Tax $300.00…
8 – 10″ Pole Tax $250.00…
5 – 8″ Privilege Tax $150.00…
3 – 5″ Nuisance Tax $30.00…

Males exceeding 12″ must file capital gains.
Anyone fewer than 3 inches is eligible for a tax refund.