Golfing in the patch of buttercups (joke)

The husband’s tee shot went far right, while the wife’s went far left. She finally found her ball in a patch of

buttercups. She took several practice swings and then hit a nice ball back onto the fairway, but in the process,

she hacked the hell out of the buttercups. As she returned to her bag, a woman appeared out of nowhere. “I’m Mother

Nature and I resent the way you treated my buttercups. As punishment, from this moment on you will hate the taste

of butter. Each time you eat it you’ll become nauseous.” Mother Nature then vanished as quickly as she appeared.

Shaken, the wife yelled to her husband, “Honey! Where are you?” “I’m over here …in the pussy willows.” She

screamed, “Hold your swing! HOLD YOUR SWING!!”

Bear in the Bar (joke)

A bear enters a bar in Billings, Montana, sits at the bar, bangs down his paw and demands a beer. The bartender says, “We don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Billings.” The bear roars in anger, “Serve me a beer or I’ll eat that woman sitting at the end of the bar.” The bartender again says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings.” True to his word, the bear goes to the end of the bar, eats the hapless woman, returns to his stool, sits down and again demands a beer. The bartender says, “We definitely don’t serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings… who are on drugs.” The bear says, “I’m not on drugs.” The bartender says, “You are now. That was a bar-bitch-u-ate!”

Jokes, Funny Jokes, Dirty Jokes, Blonde Jokes, Adult Jokes, and Funny Stuff to Keep you Laughing!