Jim finished his drink, stood up, and appeared ready to head home. The bartender said, “Hey, buddy. Why’re ya goin’ home so soon? It’s only ten o’clock. You’re usually here until after midnight. Something wrong tonight?” Jim responded, “Nothing’s wrong. I just got a sore butt from sitting so long on this bar stool.” “Jim, I’ve got just the thing for you,” said the bartender, reaching to a shelf behind the bar. He opened a bottle of pills and handed two to Jim. Jim looked at the pills and asked, “What’s this? Aspirin?” “No,” said the bartender. “Stool softener!”