Seymour goes to heaven (joke)

Seymour Schwartz was a good, deeply religious man. When he passed away, God greeted him at the Pearly Gates. “Hungry, Seymour?” saith God. “I could eat,” replied Seymour. God opened a can of tuna fish and grabbed a loaf of rye bread and they shared it. While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, pastries, and fine wines. Curious but deeply trusting, Seymour remained quiet. The next day God again invited Seymour to join him for a meal. Again, he served tuna and rye bread. Once again, Seymour watched the denizens of Hell enjoying caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates. And still Seymour said nothing. The following day, another can of tuna was opened. Seymour could contain himself no longer. “Lord, I led a pious, obedient life and I am grateful to be here in heaven with you as my reward. But all we ever eat is tuna and rye bread, while in Hell they eat like kings! Forgive me, God, I just don’t understand…” God sighed. “Let’s be honest, Seymour. For just two people, does it pay to cook?”

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