His blonde date asked from the shower, “Do you have any other shampoo?” “Why? What’s wrong?” “This bottle says it’s for dry hair and mine’s already wet!”
Two blondes were waiting for the bus. When it arrived, the door opened and one blonde asked the driver, “Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue ?” The driver shook his head. “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. It won’t.” Then the other blonde leaned inside, smiled and asked, “Will it take me?”
A blonde wanting to earn some extra money decided to hire herself out as a handyman. She canvassed the neighborhood and finally found a man who needed his porch painted. “How much will you charge me?” he asked. “How about $50?” asked the blonde. The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage. The man’s wife, hearing the conversation said, “Does she realize that the porch goes all around the house?” The husband looked at her with a cynical frown. “You’re right! I guess I’m starting to believe all of those blonde jokes you get in e mails every day.” A short time late the blonde came to the door to collect. “Are you finished already?” the husband asked. “Yes” the blonde replied, “and I had paint left over so gave it two coats–no extra charge.” Impressed. the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her.
“And by the way,” the blonde added, “It’s not a Porch—it’s a Lexus.”
“Doc, you’ve got to help me,” said the cute young redhead. “I hurt all over.” “What do you mean?” asked the doctor. She touched her right knee with her finger. “Ow, that hurts.” She touched her left cheek. “Ow, that really hurts!” Then she touched her shoulder. “OW! Even THAT hurts!” The doctor grew suspicious. “Are you a natural blonde?” he asked. “Why, yes,” she replied. “how did you know?” “Oh, lucky guess,” said the doctor. “You have a sprained finger.”