The colonel had one First Lieutenant slot available, but three Second Lieutenants eligible for promotion. He called the first candidate into his office and said, “If I told you that I wanted a flag pole erected in front of Headquarters by 1700, what would you do?” The Lieutenant thought a moment and then responded, “Sir! I would get a shovel, head for HQ, and start digging!” “You’re not ready to be promoted,” said the Colonel. He then asked the next candidate the same question. “Sir! I would fill out a CE work order, make provisions for appropriate environmental studies, and…” “You are definitely not ready to be promoted,” said the Colonel. He asked the final candidate, who immediately responded, “Sir, I would call the First Sergeant, and say, ‘Top, I want a @#$#@ flag pole in front of HQ by 1600!” The Colonel barked, “You’re ready to be promoted!”
Tag Archives: military jokes
Military Draft Joke
Back in the days of the military draft, a young man vowed to fail his induction physical. When the doctor ordered him to read the eye chart, he answered, “What eye chart?” “The one on the wall!” said the doctor. “What wall?” Sensing a deadbeat when he saw one, the doctor ordered his beautiful young nurse to strip and walk into the room naked. “Now what do you see, son?” “I can’t see a thing, Doc. I must be as blind as a bat.” “Well, you may not see anything, but your d¡ck is pointing you straight to Fort Benning! Welcome to the Army, soldier!”
The Origin of Miltary Insignias
The young ensign asked the crusty old chief about the origin of the commissioned officer insignias. “Well, ensign, it’s history and tradition. First, we give you a gold bar representing that you’re valuable but malleable. A Lieutenant Junior Grade silver bar represents value, but less malleable. When you make Lieutenant, you’re twice as valuable, so you get two silver bars. Captains soar over military masses, hence an eagle. And all Admirals are stars.” “Yes, but what about Commanders and Lieutenant Commanders?” “Well, that goes way back, back to the Garden of Eden. You see, we’ve always covered our pr¡cks with leaves!”