During a vasectomy, the surgeon slipped and cut off one of the man’s testicles. Hoping to avoid a malpractice suit, he replaced the missing testicle with an onion. When the patient came in for a follow up, he said, “Everything’ s fine, doc, but my sex life has changed.” “How?” asked the anxious doctor. “Well, doc, whenever I pee, my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job, she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hamburger stand, I get a hard-on!”