A guy called his wife one evening and said, “Honey, I’ve been invited to spend a week fishing with some of my best customers, but they’re leaving right away. Could you pack my clothes, my fishing gear, oh, and don’t forget my blue silk pajamas. I’ll be home in a few minutes to pick them up.” A hour later, he flew in the house, grabbed his stuff and raced off. A week later, he returned. His wife asked, “Have a good week, dear?” “Oh yes, honey. It was great! But you didn’t pack my blue silk pajamas.” His wife smiles and says, “Oh yes I did. They’re in your tackle box!”
Category Archives: Jokes for Women
The clever letter (joke)
A 63-year-old accountant left this letter on his kitchen counter. “Dear Wife: By the time you read this letter I will be at the grand Hotel with my beautiful, sexy, 21-year-old secretary.” When he arrived at the Grand Hotel he had a letter waiting for him at the front desk. “Dear Husband: I, too, am 63years old. By the time you receive this letter I will be at a better hotel with our handsome, virile, 21-year-old gardener. You, being an accountant, will well appreciate that 21 goes into 63 many more times than 63 goes into 21.”
Dusty Underwear (joke)
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife ‘Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!’
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.
‘What the Hell is this??’ he said to himself as a little ‘dust’ cloud
appeared when he shook them out.
‘Susan,’ he hollered into the bathroom, ‘Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?’
She replied with a snicker… ‘It’s not talcum powder……
It’s ‘Miracle Grow’.’
The High School Crush (joke)
Have You Ever Been Guilty Of Looking At Others Your Own Age And Thinking:
“Surely I Can’t Look That Old.” Well… You’ll Love This One.
My Name Is Alice Smith And I Was Sitting In The Waiting Room For My First Appointment With A New Dentist. I Noticed His DDS Diploma, Which Bore His Full Name.
Suddenly, I Remembered A Tall, Handsome, Dark-haired Boy With The Same Name Had Been In My High School Class Some 40-odd Years Ago. Could He Be The Same Guy That I Had A Secret Crush On, Way Back Then? Upon Seeing Him, However, I Quickly Discarded Any Such Thought.
This Balding, Gray-haired Man With The Deeply Lined Face Was Way Too Old To have Been My Classmate. After He Examined My Teeth, I Asked Him If He Had Attended Morgan Park High School?
“Yes. Yes, I Did. I’m A Mustang,” He Gleamed With Pride.
“When Did You Graduate?” I Asked.
He Answered, “in 1959. Why Do You Ask?”
“You Were In My Class!”, I Exclaimed.
He Looked At Me Closely. Then, That Ugly, Old, Bald, Wrinkled, Fat, Gray, Decrepit Son-of-a-bitch Asked, “What Did You Teach?”