A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession to make. I’m not a virgin.” The husband replies, “That’s no surprise in this day and age.”

The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.”

“Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”

“Tiger Woods”

“Tiger Woods, the golfer?”

“Yeah.”

“Well he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him.” The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are finished, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

“What are you doing?” asks the wife.

The husband says, “I’m going to call room service for some food.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love to his wife a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

The husband says, “I’m still hungry so I was going to phone room service to order some food.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it one more time.”

The guy slams down the phone and goes back to bed to make love to his wife one more time. When they finish, he’s gasping for air and glistening with sweat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?”

“No! I’m calling Tiger Woods to find out what’s par for this damn hole..”