When Cardboard Men Come In Handy! A car gets a flat on the interstate one day. The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up. It isn’t very long before a police car arrives. The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, What’s going on here?” “My car broke down, officer” says the woman calmly. “Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?” he asks. “Helllooooooo!!!!” says the blonde. “Those are my emergency flashers!”

Brandi the blonde is in such serious financial trouble that she decides to ask God for help. She prays, “God, I lost my business and if I don’t get some money soon, I’m going to lose my car. Please, God: let me win the Lotto.??? But Lotto night comes and goes and Brandi’s numbers don’t come up. Again she prays, “God, I’ve lost my business and now my car and if I don’t get some money soon, I’m going to lose my home. Please, God: let me win the Lotto.??? But again, Lotto night comes and goes and Brandi’s numbers don’t come up. In desperation she prays, “God, I’ve lost my business, my car, and my home and if I don’t get some money soon, my children will starve. Please, God: just this once, help me get my life back in order. Let me win the Lotto!??? Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, a roar of thunder, the heavens open and Brandi hears the voice of God Himself! “Brandi, my child! Meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket!???

Bambi the blonde celebrated her 40th birthday with a makeover. She went to the best plastic surgeon in town and got a boob lift, a tummy tuck, butt implants, botox, collagen …the works. Ten weeks and thousands of dollars later, she was a new woman — literally. Her personal physician then performed her annual physical, noted the new “body work.” When the exam was finished, he called her in. “Bambi, your overall health is good, but I want to discuss a problem that often affects women your age, osteoporosis.” Bambi looked puzzled. “Osteo–what?” “Bone loss. Many women start to experience it in their 40s.” Bambi giggled, blushed and said, “Oh, really, Doc. You’ve seen me naked. Trust me, with this body and this face, I get new bones quite often!”

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A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss Asked sympathetically, “What’s the matter?” The blonde replies, “Early This morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.” The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, “Why don’t you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.”

“Thanks, but I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it, And I have the best chance of doing that here..”

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass, and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office, and sees the blonde crying hysterically.

“What’s so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?” he asks. “No!” exclaims the blonde. “I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!”

Two blondes were walking along the beach with their friend, a brunette, when a seagull pooped on one blonde. “I’ll go get some toilet paper” said the brunette, scurrying off. One blonde said to the other, “Dummy brunette! By the time she gets back, that seagull will be long gone!”

There were these 2 girls walking down the street – one brunette, one blonde Anyway, they come upon a young man also walking their direction and notice that he has a bad case of dandruff although he is quite nice looking. So, the brunette says to the blonde, “Maybe we should give him some Head and Shoulders.” The blonde looks at her and says, “How do you give shoulders?”