Category Archives: Country Humor

Country Humor, Funny Jokes, Jokes

Amish Boy and His Dad

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall.

They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, ‘What is this, Father?’ The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, ‘Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.’

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.

The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number. and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son…..

‘Go get your Mother.’

Country Humor, Funny Jokes, Jokes, Redneck Jokes

Redneck Raffle (joke)

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While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.

They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop.

The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.

Billy Bob won 1st place- a year’s supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra thin spaghetti.

Bubba won 6th prize- a toilet brush.

About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart.

Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied, “Great!, I love spaghetti!”

Billy Bob asked Bubba, “How ’bout you, how’s the toilet brush? “Not so good,” replied Bubba, “I’m thinking ’bout switching back to paper.”

Country Humor, Funny Jokes, funny pics, Jokes

That’s Not How You Spell Country…Is It?

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So we saw this on the web today, apparently somebody was driving around, and then they saw this on the back windshield of the car in front of them. And then it dawned on them – “that’s not how you spell country – is it? doh!”. Now that’s a TRUE ‘Cuntry Slut’ for sure!

cuntry-slut-pic

Country Humor, Funny Jokes, Jokes

The Farmer and his Supplies (joke)

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A guy is about three steps inside a bar when he realizes it’s a gay bar. “What the heck? I really want a drink,” he thinks, and sits down. A waiter approaches and says, “what’s the name of your penis?” The guy says, “look, buddy, I’m not into that. All I want is a drink.” The waiter says, “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t serve you until you give me the name of your penis.” So the customer says, “all right, you go first: what’s the name of your penis?” The waiter says “Nike… as in, ‘Just Do It.'” The guy only thinks a moment, then says, “my penis is called ‘Secret.'” “Secret?” “Yeah… strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!”

Animal Jokes, Country Humor, Funny Jokes, Jokes

Bear Remover

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A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for “Bear Removers.” He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. “What are you going to do,” the homeowner asks?

“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof and then I’m going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.” He hands the shotgun to the homeowner. “What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner. “If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.”