Three buddies got married on the same day and at the same hotel. During the receptions, the three guys met up in the bar. “Guys, it’s our wedding night and, uh, I was wondering, er, ah, how many times are we supposed to do it?” Discussion ensued, and finally ended with an agreement to just see how things go and meet up the next morning for breakfast. One groom said, “Wait. We can’t discuss our wedding night performances over breakfast with our new wives there.” “You’re right. Let’s just order one slice of toast for every time we did it.” “Excellent idea!” The next morning, the brides and grooms staggered to their tables and the waitress came to take their orders. The first groom said, “I’ll have the full breakfast with three slices of toast, please.” The other two grooms smiled at his prowess. The second groom ordered, “I’ll have the full breakfast but with four slices of toast.” The third groom grinned and said, “I’ll have the full breakfast, please, but I’ll have…” and here he paused for effect, “seven, yes, seven slices of toast!” “Seven slices of toast, sir?” queried the waitress. “That’s an awful lot.” “Yes it is, young lady, yes it is. But seven slices of toast it shall be…. And, by the way, make two of those, brown!”

Near the end of the season, the college football player decided to celebrate the end of team curfew at a late night party. He soon spied a beautiful co-ed and eased into conversation by asking, “Meet many dates at parties?” She replied, “Oh, I have a 3.9. I’m more attracted to the strong academics than party animals. What’s your G.P.A.?” Grinning, the jock boasted, “24 in the city and about 30 on the highway!”

Three women always hang their laundry in their backyards. Often two of the women’s laundry gets wet, but it seems like Sophie’s laundry never gets wet. “How do you do it, Sophie? How come you never put out your laundry on days when it rains?” “Well,” says Sophie, “when I wake up in the morning, I look over at Saul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know it’s going to be a great day, so I hang out my wash. But if his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it’s going to rain, so I don’t hang out the wash.” “But, Sophie,” asks one of the women, “What if it’s pointing up?” “Honey,” replies Sophie, “on a day like that, I don’t do laundry!”