A Texan announces to the crowd in an Irish pub, “I’ll give $500 to any man here who can drink ten pints of Guinness back-to-back.” The room grows quiet. No one takes him up on his offer, and one man even leaves. Thirty minutes later that same man taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is [...]
One hot summer day, a redneck came to town with his dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into the bar for a cold one. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the bar and asked, “Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?” The redneck said it was his. “Your [...]
Once upon a time, there was a little country boy who lived in a home without indoor plumbing. The little boy hated their outhouse because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter, and smelled gross all year long. One boring day, after a huge spring rain made the creek rise nearly to [...]
A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbors’ house each month. Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the meal.
When it came time for Jimmy [...]
The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, West Virginia, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee, and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There [...]
An old farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. ? From morning till
night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something.
The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old
mule. ? He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him [...]
While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.
They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop.
The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.
Billy Bob won 1st place- a year’s supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra thin [...]
A guy is about three steps inside a bar when he realizes it’s a gay bar. “What the heck? I really want a drink,” he thinks, and sits down. A waiter approaches and says, “what’s the name of your penis?” The guy says, “look, buddy, I’m not into that. All I want is a drink.” [...]
A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for “Bear Removers.” He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s [...]
A young guy from Mississippi moves to Florida and goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job. The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”
The kid says “Yeah. I was a salesman back in Mississippi”
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. [...]