Archive for 'Police Jokes' Category
Traffic Stop
A motorcycle officer stopped a man who ran a red light. The guy was a real jerk, demanding, “Why am I being harassed by the Gestapo?!” The officer calmly told him of his violation. The man erupted in a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry and sexual orientation in explicit terms. The officer took it in [...]
Road Rage (joke)
A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her [...]
California Lawyer in Montana (joke)
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff’s deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from California and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Butte, Montana. He decides to prove this to himself and have some [...]
Old Man Speeding (joke)
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 90 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. ‘Amazing,’ he thought as he flew down I-70, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he [...]
Watchin’ for the cops (blonde joke)
A redhead was well over the speed limit when she asked her blonde passenger, “See any cops behind us?” The blonde turned around for a long look. “Hey, yeah, I do.” “Damn!” said the redhead. “Are his flashers on?” The blonde replied, “Yep, nope. Yep, nope. Yep, nope.” Related PostsA blonde watches the news (joke)A [...]
The Small Town Sherriff (joke)
The small town sheriff pulled over a Porsche doing 75 miles per hour in a 35 zone. Its wealthy yuppie driver was steaming. When he finally appeared before the local magistrate, he exploded, “I can’t believe you’re going to give me a fine. This place must be the a$$hole of the world!” The magistrate softly [...]
Dog in the Cop Car (joke)
At the end of another long day, a cop parked at the station. As he gathered his equipment, his K-9 partner started barking. As he opened his door, he saw a little boy staring in at him. “Is that a dog you got back there?” asked the boy. “It sure is,” he replied. Puzzled, the [...]
The Parking Ticket (joke)
I went to the store the other day for only about five minutes, but when I came out, there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, “Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?” He ignored me and continued writing. So I called him a [...]
The Power of the Badge
A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.” The rancher says, “Okay , but do not go in that field over there,” as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, [...]
The Name is Fred (joke)
A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. ‘Fred,’ he replies. ‘Fred what?’ the officer asks. ‘Just Fred,’ the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a [...]
