Archive for 'Little Johnny Jokes' Category
Little Johnny in the Kitchen
A mother was working in the kitchen while her 5-year-old son played with his electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son announce, “All you bastards who want off, get the hell off now! And all you bastards who want on, get your ass on the train ’cause we’re [...]
Little Johnny and his Daddy in the woods
Little Johnny watched his daddy’s car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother, “Mommy, I [...]
Little Johnny and the Insects (joke)
Little Johnny was playing in the backyard when some honeybees started annoying him. He tried to stomp on them, but his father reprimanded him, saying, “Stop that, John! Now you’ll get no honey for a month!” Later, Little Johnny caught some butterflies and started torturing them. His father yelled, “Stop that, John! Now you’ll get [...]
Little Johnny Viagra Joke
Think you’ve heard all the “little Johnny” jokes? Think again – this little Johnny joke was new for me in 2010! “Children, please name a medicine and what it is used for,” said Mrs. Johnson. The first student said, “Tylenol.” “Very good! And what is Tylenol used for?” “It’s for headaches.” “Excellent. Anyone else?” Another [...]
Little Johnny and the worm
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom and saw his father naked in the shower for the first time. He ran to his mother, screaming, “Mommy, Mommy! Daddy has a big hairy worm hanging out of his wee-wee!” “That’s not a worm, sweetheart,” reassured his mother. “That’s a part of Daddy’s body — a very important [...]
My daddy sleeps neked
“Late again?” Miss Crabtree scolded Little Johnny. “It ain’t my fault,” said Little Johnny. “This is my Daddy’s fault. I’m three hours late cause Daddy sleeps naked!” Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for over thirty years but had never heard that one before. “Exactly what does that mean, Johnny?” “Well, Miss Crabtree, a coyote’s [...]
Lil’ Johnny’s Homework
Lil’ Johnny asked his father for help with a homework assignment, “Dad, what’s the difference between potential and reality?” His father thought a moment, then said, “How about a demonstration? Ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt [...]
Little Johnny’s Moral (joke)
The Sunday School classes assignment was to prepare a story with a moral. Little Suzy went first. “My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market and one Sunday he hit a big bump and all the eggs [...]
Little Johnny’s Savings (joke)
Little Johnny’s mother was shocked to catch her young son masturbating. She sat him down and had a talk with him. “Honey, you want to be a good boy, right? Well, good little boys save that until they’re married.” A few weeks later, she had another talk with Little Johnny. “So, John, how are you [...]
Little Johnny’s Gambling Addiction (joke)
It was little Johnny’s first day in school, so his father looked up the teacher. He told her that little Johnny was a good kid but that he was an avid gambler. He warned that little Johnny might win lunch money from the other kids if he was not watched closely. The teacher did not [...]
