Archive for 'doctor jokes' Category
The Whistling Doctor
As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I got embarrassed when I had to perform a pelvic exam. To cover my embarrassment, I unconsciously whistled softly. Suddenly the middle-aged lady upon whom I was working laughed, which further embarrassed me. I looked up and said, “I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?” She [...]
Minor Operation Joke
A beautiful young woman was about to undergo a minor operation. Her gurney was moved into the corridor by a nurse who then went into the operating room to check if everything was ready. A man in a white coat approached, lifted the sheet, and examined her naked body. He then walked over and talked [...]
You’re Gonna Die!!
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be [...]
The Co-Ed Gets a Checkup
The co-ed was in her doctor’s office for a checkup. When she took off her blouse, he noticed a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asked the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend goes to Harvard and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard [...]
Waiting for Surgery
A woman awaiting surgery was lying naked on a gurney in the hallway when a man in a white coat came by, lifted the sheet, looked for a moment, then disappeared. A few minutes later, the same man stopped by again, lifted her sheet, looked for a moment, then disappeared. When he appeared a third [...]
Good news and bad news
It was time for the elderly man’s annual physical and, after a thorough examination, his doctor told him, “I have good news and bad news, which do you want first?” “Give me the bad news first, Doc.” “You have cancer, it’s inoperable, and you only have about two years to live.” “Oh, God! That’s awful! [...]
Auto Mechanics
After nearly forty years in practice, a gynecologist decided to retire to pursue his first love, auto mechanics. He enrolled at the local community college and worked very hard, but worried that he was too old to compete with his younger classmates. Sure enough, on the final exam the other students finished in about two [...]
Question for the Doctor
A woman, pregnant with her first child, was being examined in her obstetrician’s office. “Doctor, my husband wants me to ask you…??? “I know, I know,??? said the doctor, “I get asked this all the time. It’s okay to have sex until late in your pregnancy.??? “No, that’s not it,??? she said. “He wants to [...]
Who’s in Charge?
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. “I should be in charge,” said the brain, “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.” “I should be in charge,” said the blood, “Because I circulate oxygen all over so [...]
Funny Doctor Jokes
A man comes into the ER and yells, “My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab!” I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs —and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by [...]
