Archive for 'Newlywed Jokes' Category

A Young Farm Couple

By topjokes - Last updated: Thursday, May 13, 2010

A young farm couple got married and just couldn’t seem to get enough lovin’. In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. After supper, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love. The problem was their nooner: [...]

Newlyweds

By topjokes - Last updated: Monday, April 12, 2010

The newlyweds were ready for bed when the new husband said, “Honey, now that we’re married, it’s okay for me to see your body. Would you open your robe so I can have a look?” She opened her robe and revealed her naked body. He said, “You are so beautiful. May I take a picture?” [...]

The Greatest Day (joke)

By topjokes - Last updated: Saturday, January 16, 2010

As the groom entered the church, the best man noticed he had the biggest, brightest smile on his face. “Boy, you sure look happy to be getting married.” The groom replied, “Buddy, that’s because I just got the best blow job of my life and I’m here to marry the woman who gave it to [...]

The Newlyweds (joke)

By topjokes - Last updated: Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The newlyweds were enjoying breakfast in bed. “Honey, tonight we’re gonna try something new.” “Oh, really? What’s left?” “68.” “68? What’s that?” “That’s where you do me and I’ll just owe you one!” Related PostsNewlywedsThe newlyweds were ready for bed when the new husband said, “Honey, now that we’re married, it’s oka…May December Marriage (joke)At [...]

John and Mary’s Wedding Night

By topjokes - Last updated: Tuesday, October 20, 2009

John and Mary were high school sweethearts, but had never had sex. “We must wait until we are married,” Mary told him. He waited. They were engaged for years, until the big day arrived. On their wedding night, Mary shyly confessed, “I have bad news. I started my period and I don’t want our first [...]

Sherlock Holmes and the 3 Bananas (joke)

By topjokes - Last updated: Friday, October 16, 2009

“Good evening, ladies,” said Sherlock Holmes, passing three women eating bananas on a park bench. “Do you know them?” asked Dr. Watson. “No,” Holmes replied, “I’ve never met that nun, the prostitute or the bride.” “Good Lord, Holmes, how on Earth do you know that?” “Elementary, my dear Watson: the nun ate her banana by [...]

The Honeymoon Joke

By topjokes - Last updated: Monday, October 12, 2009

A young couple, each a virgin, was to be married the next day. The groom confessed to his father, “Pa, I’m scared to death. I don’t know anything about sex!” “Don’t worry, Dan,” replied his dad. “Your mother and I may have been a little overly protective but I promise to make it up to [...]