Archive for 'Preacher Jokes' Category
The Son of a Bitch Fish
The parish priest went on a fishing trip. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide, holding a net, yelled, ‘Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!’? ? ‘Son, I’m a priest. Your language is uncalled for!’ ‘ No, Father, [...]
Screw the preacher
A Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation,…..no one wants him to leave. Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and proclaims, …. “If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a? [...]
Confessions
An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery. During one Sunday’s sermon he told them, “If one more person confesses to adultery, I’ll quit!??? Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: “fallen.??? From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had “fallen.??? This satisfied the [...]
I’d throw it all into the river
A preacher, completing a temperance sermon, spoke with great fervor! “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d throw it all into the river.??? With greater emphasis, he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d throw it all into the river.??? And finally he said, “And if I [...]
The Pastor’s Visit (joke)
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. Obviously someone was home, but even after he knocked several times, no one came to the door. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back “Revelation 3:20″ and stuck [...]
The Pastor’s Ass (joke)
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to [...]
A minister at the pearly gates (joke)
A minister died and found himself in line at the Pearly Gates behind a man wearing sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. St. Peter asked the man, “State your name so I may determine whether to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?” The man replied, “I’m Joe the taxi driver, from Noo [...]
