A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard the garage door open. “Hurry!” she cried. “Stand in the corner!” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move,” she whispered. “Pretend you’re a statue.” When her husband entered the bedroom, he asked, “What’s this, [...]
The wife appeared before the judge and said, “I want a divorce.” The judge said, “Why do you want a divorce?” “Because my husband is a terrible lover.” “How long have you been married?” “Fourteen years.” “I don’t understand,” said the judge. “Why wait fourteen years to divorce your husband if he’s a terrible lover?” [...]
The wife appeared before the judge and said, “I want a divorce.” The judge said, “Why do you want a divorce?” “Because my husband is a terrible lover.” “How long have you been married?” “Fourteen years.” “I don’t understand,” said the judge. “Why wait fourteen years to divorce your husband if he’s a terrible lover?” [...]
A rich Beverly Hills matron got mad at her French maid, told her in no uncertain terms about her shortcomings as a housekeeper, and then fired her. The maid’s Gaelic ancestry couldn’t allow such abuse to go unanswered. “Ma’am, you should know: your husband considers me a better housekeeper than you. He told me himself.” [...]
An engaged woman, a mistress, and a married woman were chatting about their relationships and decided to surprise their men with a little sex play. That night each wore a black leather S&M bodice, stiletto heels, and a mask. The next day, they met for coffee to exchange stories. The engaged woman said, “My boyfriend [...]
Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz lost $500 on a single hand, clutched his chest and dropped dead, still sitting at the table. Finkelstein looks around and asked, “So, who’s gonna tell his wife?” They drew straws and Goldberg lost. “Be discreet, Goldberg,” they said. “Don’t make a bad [...]
A man’s wife rushed to the hospital unexpectedly, and asked her husband to bring her some items from home including “comfortable underwear.” Worried he’d make the wrong choice, he asked, “But how will I know which ones are comfortable? ” She answered, “Hold them up and imagine me in them. If you smile, put ‘em [...]
A woman was walking down the street when she heard a booming voice shout, “Stop! Don’t take another step!” She obeyed and suddenly a ton of bricks fell right where she would have been. She looked around, saw no one and assumed she imagined the voice. She continued a few minutes until the same voice [...]
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically? telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
“If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between [...]
The bride had carefully packed a long white silk nightgown for her honeymoon, but her sister secretly replaced it with a sexy little pink number she thought better suited to a couple’s first night together. In the hotel, she went into the bathroom to change leaving her new husband on the bed. “No fair peeking!” [...]