What happens when you send a message in a bottle on a deserted island?? Spam in a bottle of course!
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Category Archives: Computer Jokes
Better ways to log off (funny cartoon)
Here’s a funny one – there sure are better ways to log off!
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I had a problem with my computer today
So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.
Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong ? He replied, ‘It was an ID ten T error.’
I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,
‘An, ID ten T error ? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.’
Eric grinned …. ‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before ?
‘No,’ I replied.
‘Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it out.’ So I wrote down:
ID10T
I used to like Eric, the little bastard.
Google Autocomplete WTF pic
Again another WTF with this Google autocomplete image. To think that people really had to type this in to get these embedded as Google suggestions:
The Original Computer
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider’s home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
if you had a 3 inch floppy…
…you just hoped nobody ever found out!
Open season on nerds (joke)
A truck driver hauling a container load of computers out of Silicon Valley stops at a café for a cup of coffee. As he enters, he follows a nerdy guy with tape on his glasses and a pocket protector. The proprietor doesn’t say a word, but pulls out a shotgun and blows the geek away. “Why’d you do that?” cried the truck driver. “Oh, don’t worry, since the nerds have overpopulated Silicon Valley, they’re in open season. You don’t even need a license!” The driver finishes his coffee, gets back in his truck, and as he heads out of the driveway, his load shifts, his back door opens and his load of computers spills out all over the road. Immediately a huge crowd of nerds forms, grabbing his computers. Remembering the incident in the café, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away until a cop arrives and orders him to stop. “What’s wrong, officer? I thought it was open season on nerds?” “Well, yeah,” replied the cop. “But it ain’t fair to bait ’em!”
Bill Gates and his Old Friend
A guy ordered a drink in an airport cocktail lounge and suddenly realized that sitting across from him was Bill Gates. Barely concealing his enthusiasm, he introduced himself, “Hello, Mr. Gates. My name is Larry. You don’t know me, but I’d like to ask you for a small favor.” A wary Gates asked, “And what might that be?” “I’m meeting with a potential client here in a few minutes and if I can sign this deal, it could change my whole life. All I ask is that you walk over and greet me like an old friend. Perhaps my client will be impressed enough to swing the deal.” Relieved, Gates said, “Sure. I can do that for you.” A few minutes later, as the man sat talking with his client, Gates finished his drink, walked over to them, and said, “Hey, Larry! I thought that was you. How’ve you been?” And the guy replied, “F*¢k off, Gates! I’m in a meeting here!”
Only 4 Chutes (joke)
One night, a small commuter jet was headed from Seattle to Vancouver with just four passengers: Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, the Dalai Lama, and a college student. Suddenly, there was an explosion and the plane filled with smoke. The cockpit door opened, the pilot hurried through the compartment, saying, “bad news. We’re going to crash and there are only four parachutes.” With that, he grabbed a parachute, threw open the door and leaped from the plane. Michael Jordan jumped to his feet. “Gentlemen,” he announced, “I’m the world’s greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. Therefore, I’m taking one of the parachutes!” With that, he grabbed a parachute and hurtled out the door. Bill Gates rose and said, “Gentlemen, I am the world’s smartest man. The world needs smart men. Therefore, I’m taking one of the parachutes, too!” With that, HE grabbed one and jumped. The Dalai Lama looked at the college student. “My son,” he said, “I have lived a long and satisfying life. I have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your whole life before you. You take a parachute. I will go down with the plane.” The college student just smiled, “Not necessary, man. The world’s smartest man just left wearing my backpack!”