Top Jokes

Speeding in the Nursing Home (joke)

An old lady is wheeling her wheelchair up and down the halls of her nursing home, making sounds like she’s driving a car. As she’s rounds one corner, an old man jumps out of his room and says, “Excuse me, ma’am, but you were speeding. May I see your license, please?” She digs in her purse and pulls out a candy wrapper. He studies it, gives her a warning, and sends her on her way. Up and down the halls she goes. Again, the same old man stops her. “Excuse me, ma’am, but you crossed the center line back there. May I see your registration, please?” She digs in her purse and pulls out a store receipt. He studies it, gives her another warning, and sends her on her way. Again she zooms off, up and down the halls. As she passes the old man’s room for the third time, he jumps out, only this time he’s buck-naked and has an erection! The lady looks up from her wheelchair and says, “Oh, no. Not the Breathalyzer again!”