The young ensign asked the crusty old chief about the origin of the commissioned officer insignias. “Well, ensign, it’s history and tradition. First, we give you a gold bar representing that you’re valuable but malleable. A Lieutenant Junior Grade silver bar represents value, but less malleable. When you make Lieutenant, you’re twice as valuable, so you get two silver bars. Captains soar over military masses, hence an eagle. And all Admirals are stars.” “Yes, but what about Commanders and Lieutenant Commanders?” “Well, that goes way back, back to the Garden of Eden. You see, we’ve always covered our pr¡cks with leaves!”