Wow, I’ve heard a lot of “great blonde jokes” but this one really threw me!

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and s says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly .

She says to the mortician, ‘Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?’ To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

‘There’s no charge,’ she says.

‘No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!’ she says.

‘Honestly, ma’am,’ the blonde says, ‘it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearin g a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.’

‘So I just switched the heads.’

Why It’s No Fun To Be A Penis: You’re bald your whole life; you have a hole in your head; your neighbors are nuts; the guy closest to you is an a$$hole; and everytime you get excited, you throw up and then faint!A blonde got a new sports car for a birthday present. While was out for a drive, she accidentally cut off a big 18-wheeler. The truck driver motioned for her to pull over. She did. He got out of his truck, stomped over to the shoulder of the road, drew a circle with a piece of chalk, and commanded the blonde, “Now you stand in that circle and don’t move!” She did as she was told. He reached inside the convertible and cut her leather seats to shreds with his knife. But when he checked her reaction, she was smiling. That made him angrier! “Oh, so you think I’m funny, do you? Watch this!” He grabbed a baseball bat from his truck and broke every lamp on her new car. This time when he looked at her, she was giggling. Now that made him really mad. He slashed her tires. She laughed out loud. He dented the hood with his bat. She laughed harder. He dented the trunk. She laughed even harder. He finally lost it completely, grabbed a gas can from his truck, poured it over her car, and lit it. She doubled over, the tears running down her cheeks. The enraged truck driver screamed, “You’re one crazy blonde! What in the hell is so funny?” Through tears of laughter, the blonde forced out the words, “Every time… when you… weren’t looking?… I stepped out… of the circle!”